Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Listen, Linda...

 
"Necessity is the mother of invention"
 
~ Ancient Proverb ~
 
 
Let me just begin by saying, that after our return from a long trip to the east coast last fall (a story that will definitely be told later), I spent about a month going over things I felt like our motor home needed before our next trip. My wife and I had plans to head south for 3 months starting in January, but some family medical issues prompted a delay of such plans. Still, I replaced all the deep cycle coach batteries, the front tires, the alternator, and various other things I thought would ensure a trouble-free trip south.
 
Now mid March, we were able to etch out a week to go visit friends and relatives in Dallas, Texas, take in the St Pat's parade, and just relax with our beloved Bertha (the motor home) and our two pets. I gave her a once over, we loaded her up with clothes, food, and supplies, and prepared to hit the road.

The first item up for bid was filling and pressurizing the water system after it sat through some brutal cold Nebraska temps in January. Tank filled and flushed, refilled...pump on! Ssssssssss. You know the sound. A fitting was leaking near the outside shower and low point drains. But there was another sound only I could hear.

*Listen: Stay Home*

I had all the parts, so this was an easy fix, indeed. Problem solved. Water pressure restored. On to hooking up the toad, which is also an effortless endeavor. Pulled up to the Blue Ox, strapped Gracie (the jeep) in, and plugged in the lights. Lights on Bertha, not on Gracie. 

*Listen: Stay Home*

Also a seemingly simple fix, I traced the issue to the connections on the tow hookup, cleaned those up, and after blowing a taillight fuse in the motor home, almost getting stuck under the dash (Ok, I did get stuck and have the bruises to prove it), finding it was the very last fuse I checked, and hooking everything back up, we had lights. Let's roll!!

My wife joined me in the navigation seat along with Sugar the dog and Lola the cat, and we eased on out of the driveway and down main street as we sang a happy "On the Road Again" tune! Ahhhh...finally! "What's that clunking sound?" she inquired with nothing but helpfulness in her voice. 

"Oh, that's probably nothing," I replied. "Feels and sounds like something stuck in the brake drum when I push hard on the brakes. I'm sure it's nothing. Just ice or dirt or something from sitting this winter." It'll be fine."

*Listen: Seriously...listen up, idiot. Stay Home!!*

On we pressed through Southeast Nebraska, the clunk only happening when I had to use the air brakes (our rig has an engine brake), made some stops to snack and use the restroom, and basked in the glow of RV travel. Life was grand and we had two full days and some change to get to Dallas! All according to plan! (ish)

*Listen Up: Go Home, dummy.*

By early afternoon we'd made some progress. Just south of Topeka, while cruising easily down the road, we were hit by a harsh westerly wind which resulted in a giant BOOM!! "What the hell was that?" I shrieked at the navigator, because, you know, it's her job to know these things. lol. It didn't take either of us long to realize that the wind had completely ripped the awning and most of its attachments away from the rig. 

"No big deal!" I thought. "I'll just climb up on the roof and remove any loose pieces until we stop for the night and I'll clean it up. Who needs an awning, anyway?" After climbing our rickety-ass attached ladder, and somehow, miraculously not tearing the ladder away from rig whilst also not falling, being blown off, or being run down by traffic to my death, we pressed on. Did I mention we had almost lost a fender skirt and stopped to screw that back on?

*Head Slap: Jesus H, dipstick. Go Home!!*
 
While celebrating the fact we probably needed a new awning anyway (maybe even an electric one!!), it wasn't going to be necessary where we were going, AND the clunk only happened when I pressed the brakes hard, the front part of our rubber roof peeled back and started flappety flap flapping on the vent directly above our heads. Apparently, the explosion part of losing our awning created some issues with our roof. Thunderstorms were in the forecast.

*Now. Will. You. Go. Home?!?!?!*
 
"Closest campsite?" she asked. 
 
"Absolutely," I replied. My adoring wife and navigator already had one picked out only 10 miles down the road. She had chosen an adorable little NRD park that wasn't even officially open with hookups for the season, so the campsites were free! (We have onboard water AND an onboard generator, remember. All that hookup stuff is just for woosies. lol) 
 


 
 
We pulled through our lucky site, number 13, and assessed the damages.  I climbed back up our rickety ladder (spoiler alert: I removed that piece of s*** when we finally got home), assessed the roof damage and removed remaining parts of our awning. Our rubber roof was, indeed, pulled back from under the front molding and torn about three feet along a line from front to the air vent. It was bad and I only had some minor leak repair stuff on board. But, I had lots and lots of duct tape, which I applied like a madman in hopes of at least minimizing water damage until we could find an RV place to at least temporarily repair our roof the following day! We had plenty of time! 
 
*Go home, Stupid*
 
The plan was agreed upon, so we took advantage of the gorgeous afternoon sun and took our coon dog for a walk. We were the only people in the park, so I let her stretch her long legs off-leash. I do it all the time. No big deal.
 
 
Our Sugar, who is probably the sweetest animal I've even known, is also not the sharpest knife in the drawer. While Gina and I discussed strategy and took our concentration off our beloved dog, she followed her nose into a drainage culvert. Plenty of room on one end; not so much on the other. Backing out wasn't an option (see above for knife/drawer thing), so off I went to get some tools that would hopefully work to increase the size of the opening. Sugar, rather than panic, waited patiently while Gina comforted her. It only took some large pliers to bend up the edges of the culvert and Sugar was free! Our luck was changing!!

*I have no words for you. Take your dog, your cat, your wife, and your motor home, now held together with duct tape and baling wire...and go home!!!!*

The next morning (no rain overnight) we found a place in Topeka, only 20 miles away, who not only did some RV work, but said they'd get us right in if we came immediately. We pulled up stakes and headed back north to Topeka! There's nothing to this RVing!

*Don't say I didn't tell you.*

Bruce, at Topeka Trailer Repair, Inc. was amazing and I recommend using theses folks any time you might need them. He did, indeed, get us right in, took a look at the roof, assured us he could patch her up well enough to complete our trip, and sent us off to have breakfast at Banjo's. Oh. My. God!! Amazing food and ginormous portions. "Hey Bruce. As long as we're in here, could you pull that left front wheel and see if you can see anything obvious causing a 'clunk'?"

"Sure thing!" he said, and off we went for biscuits and gravy.

*Eat. Hook up your jeep. Go Home.*

As we were settling up our check at Banjo's, Bruce called with the "good news and bad news" that you had to know was coming by now. If you didn't, you clearly haven't been paying attention. "Well, I got your roof patched up with some 300 mph tape that oughta get you down the road, and I found out what was causing your 'clunk.' Your wheel drum is cracked."
 
After a lengthy conversation about the safety of going on down the road to Dallas with the air line to that wheel blocked off, minus the left front brake drum, we relented to letting Bruce order a new one...from Dallas...(yes. Dallas). "It'll be here by noon tomorrow," he said. "In the meantime, you're welcome to back into one of our parking spots here and camp in the parking lot. No charge!" And that is where we spent night number 2, excited by the fact we could still get our brake repaired and be on the road in plenty of time to make the St Pat's parade in Dallas. We slept remarkably well, considering the train, big truck air brakes, tornado warning (we sat through the siren as the tornadoes passed northwest of us), and torrential rains (The roof held, praise jebus).
 
*You just can't fix stubborn stupidity.*
 

 
 
The next morning, we walked the dog, got dressed, drove the jeep up to Banjo's (we are friends now) for breakfast, and anxiously awaited getting back on the road by noon. Except the brake drum didn't show. "It shows to be in inventory, but it ain't on the shelf!" was the explanation by the man in Dallas. "But don't worry," Bruce comforted. "We can have one here from Kentucky by noon tomorrow and they've already promised they have it on the shelf. Have you on the road by noon...tomorrow. Night number 3 spent in the parking lot. I mean, what are you gonna do, right?
 
*If you don't get that drum put on and head for home, I swear to god.....*
 
Gina and I now relented there would be no parade and no visit with friends. We just wouldn't be able to make Dallas in time, and besides, the forecast called for rain and thunderstorms all weekend...on our patched roof. "No way," we decided. "We'll ease back home and camp at some neat spots along the way. It'll be fun." We accepted our plight and did some thrift shopping in Topeka. Fun!!  

Another wonderful breakfast with our friends at Banjo's to say goodbye and a brake drum replaced as promised were the precursors to us heading north and salvaging our trip together. And let me be clear, we had a great trip together. Our marriage is what real partnership is all about.  Gina began navigating where we might camp, and we decided a place in Nebraska we had both wanted to explore would be a great place to spend a couple nights and relax. It was only two hours from Topeka and a mere 35 minutes from home. Perfect.

*Exactly what part of "Go HOME!" don't you understand. GO HOME!!!!*

We made it to within one mile of the entrance to the park where we hoped to stay and the roof came loose. It only took a glance for us to say in unison, "Let's just go home." And we did. Now, we did at least explore the park first, and it was a dump. 35 minutes later we were home and I missed the driveway as I backed in Bertha and left giant ruts in our yard. Of course Gina was back there guiding me in the correct direction. But I ignored that!!
 
RVing is hard. And it's wonderful. I've been saying for months, you better be rich or handy. We're neither, but we still had an amazing time just sharing space together, and with all the signs we got along the way, it occurs to us we were not supposed to be in Dallas. I fully expected there to be news of a mass shooting and Source had saved our lives. Or...Source used us not making Dallas to thwart a catastrophe. We'll never know for sure, but I do know I'll listen better next time. Repairs are already scheduled.

Oh, just one more thing. It IS still winter in Nebraska. I did drain our holding tank, but failed to rewinterize the entire rig because, duh, it's March. It was 4:00 am the night we returned when I woke up and thought I'd check the outside temp. Why? You know why. It was 18 degrees. It's now all been thawed, drained and winterized again. Any leaks from frozen pipes? I'll let you know when it warms up and I pressurize the water system. Time will tell. 

The frozen pipes is on me. 
 

 

Namaste!

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